7Up's Bunny

Ha ha, the bunny burped!

7/10 (Ha!)

A&W's Sign Problem

Another good one by A&W. Same actor as usual, but no annoying gimmick. He's good at his part anyways. The whole idea works well, and the hanging from the sign is hilarious.

7/10 (Good!)

Mr. Sub's Hurting Me

I like the whole gimmick. It's repetitive, but fresh whenever they do it. It allows for new scenarios, while maintaining the purity of their whole motto. I like this one in particular, as it confirms my theory that elderly women are plotting to steal our sandwiches. I would suggest being careful and guarding your delicious lunches cautiously while around them!

6/10 (A good repeated gimmick for once.)

Picture Me Naked!

Yeah, a spin off of the oldest cliché in the history of the universe. Maybe I'm slightly exaggerating, but still. This just isn't that funny, nor is it funny to tell random people in your class to picture you naked.

Warning: May cause sexual harassment charges.

5/10 (Could've been worse, but I will acknowledge that there wasn't any annoying tunes, or bad actors.)

Monster's Monday Sucks

I enjoy this commercial. The music works well with it, and everything is coordinated well. It's nice that keep everyone in suspense until the very end; unless you've seen or heard of this commercial before, there is no possible way you can see what's coming.

Too bad, I thought they almost won. :(

7/10 (Good job keeping the punchline until the very end.)

Super Smash Bros

I remember this commercial like it was yesterday. It's sad whenever I hear this song, I think of this commercial now. Though there really wasn't much to it, and it was probably extraordinarily cheap to make compared to some of the other commercials out there, it still goes smoothly. I wouldn't call extraordinarily funny, but I definitely wouldn't call it annoying either.

5/10 (Alright; nothing amazing.)

NicoDerm's Psychotic Stewardess

This is probably the best acting I've ever seen for a commercial. Just excellent. She plays the angry part so well, and it makes the entire commercial. I don't think anyone else would've been able to pull that off. Good work, it's hilarious.

10/10 (First perfect score; well deserved.)

Sexy Subaru

Okay, so maybe not sexy. Unless you have a thing for Sumo Wrestling.

I like this commercial; good music, and good randomness. I'm sure a lot of people are unsure how to react when this comes on. It's both funny, and disturbing. That's the best combination. I like it.

8/10 (Good!)

Bud Light, an Axe, and a Chainsaw

Another great beer commercial. I love these.

Good randomness, no annoying tune, good actors all around, especially the clueless driver. There's not a whole lot of things I can say about it, but I do enjoy it immensely.

8/10 (Good laugh.)

WaMu Kangaroos

Okay, the first time I saw this commercial, halfway through I was kind of annoyed, and really disappointed. What really changed my mind, and what really made me like this commercial was the guy sitting on the couch in his dream-state. The kangaroo thing didn't work for me, but this guy's confusion made up for it.

Good job, WaMu.

6/10 (Saved by the ending.)

McDonald's JC Petit

Love the originality.

Good job targeting the audience that the product is meant for. Might want to take a lesson on this, if you're a sucky-ad-company. It's simple, utilize what you're advertising in your advertisements. Don't make a silly song, don't use creepy old guys, don't do some stupid opera ad.

Good job. Random and fun.

7/10 (Merveilleux!)

Hands in my Pockets, Fingers in my Ears

Overused gimmick alert. Shame on you, Capital One! The song now makes me cry in agony when I hear it.

Seriously, once was enough. The song wasn't bad, but after doing 30 commercials with it, it became severely annoying. And really, how long can people running around with old men sticking their hands in those people's pockets remain funny? That is, if it was even funny in the first place?

The fact of the matter is... you killed it. Once was alright, but you went and killed it.

4/10 (Overused.)

Love A&W

I love A&W's adds. They always have good music playing, rather than trying to make their own corny jingles like most failure-at-advertising companies do. Aside from the music, the actors do a good job; the guy fits the clueless dummy role, and it really makes the add work. Brings a smile to my face every time I see it.

8/10 (Good job; relaxing and funny.)

Cripsy Crunch Sucks

Hello, Crispy Crunch.

I'd like to introduce you to the power of suggestion.

I suggest you stop sucking.
I suggest you stop using weird old men to advertise your chocolate bars.
I suggest you make a good chocolate bar.
Whenever you hear a car horn honk, you will remove your head from your anal cavity, and begin to think properly.
When I clap my hands, you will feel ashamed for wasting thirty seconds of television time for this.

*clap clap*

0/10 (You suck.)

Coca-Cola & Final Fantasy IX

Leave it to Coca-Cola and Square to team up and create something that's pleasing in plenty of ways. I might be a little biased, because I love both Coca-Cola and Final Fantasy IX, but I'll try to explain why this commercial pleases me.

First, it's pretty to look at. Plenty of colours, characters, and the whole thing is smooth and animated nicely. It blends together well. Second, the music is upbeat, and done very well. Square has a reputation for it's music, and this piece fits the commercial well. Finally, there's no annoying actors, or owners, trying to sell their products through the process known as stupidity. There's also no overused gimmick.

Overall, we're left with a commercial that's friendly, visually pleasing, and musically appealing. Good job Coca-Cola, and good job Square.

8/10 (Fun stuff.)

Wendy's Wig

Another perfect example of a company overusing an initially annoying gimmick to the point that it becomes just painful to watch. The red wigs, personally, were never funny to me, so when they started making fifty gazillion ads a month featuring them, I nearly fed myself to a bear.

They appear to have dropped them now; I've been red wig free for several weeks now, and I'm happy about that. This is bringing back some repressed memories though, so I'm going to close this quickly.

STOP ABUSING THE GIMMICKS!

Just because some half-wit thinks it's hilarious, it doesn't mean it's going to be hilarious after you force feed it to him or her another forty times. Stop it!!!

2/10 (Repetitively horrendous.)

Alka-Seltzer's Spicy Meatball on Memory Lane

Tenth post on this blog, so I figured we'd take a nice trip and visit some of the classic commercials, and do something special.

This is a 1970's commercial, meaning it was created well before my time. However, it is popular enough that it's been duplicated quite a bit, mainly for comedic purposes. I've heard the "That's a spicy meatball!" line often, in spite of not being around while it was on television. I never knew that it was an Alka-Seltzer ad, though. Always thought it would've had something to do with meatballs, for obvious reasons.

Though not hilarious when today's standards are applied, we must all remember that what was allowed on television, and the technology used to create ads such as this one were different. Companies dealt with strong censorship, and whatnot. However, in spite of that, I still believe that this is a gem and classic that must not be forgotten.

9/10 (Classic!)

Stride Terror Campaign

Love it.

I was getting relatively sick seeing the same group of people in the office crying about people chewing on one piece of gum for ages. The gimmick was getting old. Finally, Stride jumps out of the pit that so many companies fail to escape, and deliver something new.

Not only do they threaten their own customers, which is original enough, but their methods are original as well. I love randomness.

8/10 (Excellent job. Original, random, and funny. Good way to break old habits, while holding onto tradition at the same time.)

Pepsi Destruction

Pepsi knows how to utilize celebrities in their ads. This is the perfect example. Justin Timberlake comes across as either the guy people love, or people hate. There's rarely an in between.

So to appease the people that love him, Pepsi sticks him in the commercial so those people can see him. And to appease the people that hate him, they hit him in the face with a television, car door, and cow, and in the crotch with a mailbox. Everyone wins.

The randomness is nice too; no singing, no dancing, no annoying jingle. Just a celebrity getting tossed around and beat up; that's not something you get to see everyday. Good stuff.

PS. Not exactly sure what Andy Samberg is doing, but I guess that counts as random? (And kinda creepy!)

9/10 (Highest so far.)

JG Wentworthless

Uhhh... yeah.

It's bothersome when people try to make a number stick in your head with an annoying song. I mean, it's effective, but in this case, I cut off one of my toes whenever I find myself thinking of the number, ad, or JG Wentworth.

I know I gave Oliver Jewelery and Pepto Bismol 2/10 for composing similarly annoying songs, however, the fact that Wentworth tortures us for a full minute means they're getting a point taken off!

PS. Rhyming "Cash now" with "Cash now" is against the law! Use different words! Make the effort! I hate you! Gosh!

1/10 (Congrats! Lowest score yet! Don't worry though! Stupidity seems to be contagious, so I'm sure you won't be alone for long!)

Pepto Abysmal

Pepto Bismol annoys me. They made this commercial to give viewers upset stomachs and indigestion, just so they'd buy their product! I don't need to say much else; the ad says it all.

2/10 (If it's pink, I'm not drinking it.)

NotSoFreeCreditReport

The FreeCreditReport commercials seem pretty popular, and catchy. I like the commercial, though some of the song lyrics irk me, as they seem to be reaching for random words to rhyme with. Also, there have been several lawsuits, and allegations against this company for misusing the word free. Be careful.

Here's the sources:
Don't fall for FreeCreditReport.com
Florida AG investigates FreeCreditReport.com

So once again, be careful whenever trusting anything with the word 'free' attached to it.

Now, with the annoyance out of the way, the commercial itself, without the extra baggage, does offer some humour. It brought a smile to my face before I knew about the background and what was really going on. I want to be a pirate when I grow up, but I don't need a hacker to help me do it.

6/10 (YARRRR! Good commercial! But yer company be a scurvy dog.)

Subway and Jon Lovitz

Subway, Subway, Subway. Love the sandwiches.

Love the sandwiches, love your commercials, hate your repetitiveness. Why can't you just be original, instead of beating a good thing to death, and making us witness it?

Needless to say, this is the first installment of Subway's Jon Lovitz ad campaign that I saw, and I really found it funny. He worked well on his role, and it made me laugh.

However, Subway would go on to create fifty gazillion Jon Lovitz commercials, none of which measured up to the success of this one, in my opinion. I don't blame Lovitz at all; you can only do so much with the junk that you're given.

Individual commercial: 6/10 (Good acting made it)
Entire commercial campaign: 3/10 (Yeah, you broke it, Subway. Getting to be a habit too...)

Bud Light Magic

I love beer commercials. They're almost always random, and they never try too hard to be funny. They simply find the most silly platform, and run with it. Bud Light's Magic Fridge is a good example of that randomness and originality.

There isn't too much too it. There's no annoying actors who are trying too hard to sell the product, like in some commercials. In fact, the actors do a good job, especially the first guy who discovers the Magic Fridge is back in the apartment; he sounds as if he is a little behind on the development scale.

What makes me happy is that this isn't an overused gimmick, like some companies resort to when it comes to their advertising. This is a one time thing; they are not going to flood our television screens with Magic Fridge spinoff commercials. Repetition kills.

8/10 (I don't drink, but I'm considering taking it up just because of this.)

Oliver Jewellery Disaster

Okay... Where do I begin?

When I first saw this commercial, I thought to myself that it was just another jackass who was too cheap to pay an actual actor to do his commercial for him. Upon watching it again, which was painful enough, I realized that he is just a jackass.

First off, he's creepy. He looks like the type of guy who will eat your fingers and toes while you're asleep. Secondly, he throws himself in the commercial instead of a normal actor, while paying a bunch of girls to dance around him on one of the worst commercials in history, just to look cool. Mission FAILED!

His song isn't very catchy. In fact, it made me want to pour Draino in my ears; lucky I was all out. To make matters worse, he gets possessed by the Kool Aid Guy at the end of the commercial and shouts "OH YEAH!".

Not only that, but there's been some comments flying around that he's a rip off. You can find some reviews, and some of those claims here.

The only funny thing about this commercial is the fact that he probably thinks that he's incredibly awesome and cool because of it.

Sorry, Cashman. Look into real actors next time, and maybe a writer.

2/10 (Boycott company.)

Mountain Dew Ferret Attack

Everyone's seen rodents, and tiny animals attacking people in the past, whether it be in commercials, television shows, or just your last camping trip. It's nothing new. However, Mountain Dew brings it to a new level.

Though the fact that Ferrets attack more people than Grizzly Bears may come off as shocking at first, the more you think about it, the more sense it makes. Ferrets are commonly used as pets, and as such, are in contact with people consistently; the likeliness of an attack increases, obviously, because of that constant contact. No normal person has a pet Grizzly Bear (nor do I care if you do have one; don't email me!).

However, the sarcasm and over exageration on Mountain Dew's part is incredible. Giving the Ferret a chainsaw, and goalie mask a la Jason is just great. Not only do they break the boring and overused scenario of a crazy and angry rodent, but they make it funny too. This has obviously been partially censored on most television stations due to the graphic scene of the woman getting her leg chopped off. That just shows you how insane Mountain Dew is.

Good job.

Rating:
8/10 (You'll buy whatever it is, just because the commercial was great.)